The Saturday Afternoon Rodent Report

with Molly

...because this inquiring dog wants to know

Three rats were involved Thursday in a high speed chase. The chase ended when Mary and Brie, the victims turned heroes, cornered their assailant and pinned her between a pvc tunnel and the back of their rat cage. When asked to describe the scene, human Amanda said this: "I was actually proud of Maribo and Brie for standing up for themselves. I'm surprised there wasn't bloodshed when they finally caught her." Human Amanda had little to say about the attacker, Olive: "No matter how hard a mother tries, there is always one child who won't listen." She refused to comment further, stating that it is just too painful to talk about.

This reporter did invite all three rats involved to make a statement. Their publicist and cagemate, Acorn, released this statement. "These girls are just like any other group of sisters. They have their arguments and then make up. They're just like everybody else, but the stress of having their lives publicly displayed on a blog gets to them sometimes."

And as if four rodents weren't enough for this household, it looks like there may yet be another.

Last Saturday, lazy humans Steve and Amanda went to bed without properly cleaning their dinner dishes. Upon entering the kitchen on Sunday morning, they were shocked to find that the contents of the dishes had disappeared and had been replaced by mouse droppings. This reporter asked the humans just what they were planning to do about it. "I sprinkled the kitchen with peppermint and spearmint oils to try to humanely deter him from coming back, but it's not really working. So...Good for him! He's keeping warm and eating like a king," said human Amanda. Human Steve declined comment. Both humans have resolved to fastidiously clean the kitchen each evening in the hopes that this mouse will stay in the basement. When asked what she would do if the mouse reproduced and brought its young upstairs, human Amanda just rolled her eyes.

And that's the ratty news. Stay safe, stay tuned, and this reporting dog will see you next week.