Dear Nice Lady Across the Ocean,
No, Elvis did not eat the computer. He is not allowed in the computer room because that is where the ratties play and Mom thinks that he might eat them. Mom lets me use the computer because I am very trustworthy and beautiful and perfect and cute and wonderful and the best dog that ever was and don't you forget it.
Mom doesn't update her blog anymore because all she does is walk Elvis. She believes that a tired dog is a good dog and Elvis can walk and walk and never gets tired, but he seems pretty good to me. He even helps me do my chores - keeping the couch warm and reminding Mom and Dad when it's time to eat.
For those who are wondering, it's official. Elvis starts 'bedience class at the end of April, but Mom and Dad are going to a lecture by a dog trainer this Thursday. Mom says if they don't do something quick, her arm is going to fall out of it's socket and she will never be able to stand up straight again. I know Elvis would walk nicely on a leash if Mom and Dad asked him to the right way, but they don't ask nicely I know. They are the ones who need 'bedience class.
Elvis went to the vet's again today. He gained 9 lbs since last week and has to gain 10 more. It's not fair! When I came to live here I had to lose 10 lbs. I am on prison camp rations. I am being 'bused! And in comes this scrawny southern boy an' he gets all the good treats, like cheese, and I can't have any! I was here first.
Come to think of it, Elvis is not a good boy. I changed my mind. I could take him or leave him. And my Mom should quit school if she plans to keep him here, so she can give us both pats all day. And Mom took pictures, but I am not going to post any because they all have Elvis in them and I'm tired of hearing about Elvis and his good-boy treats!
Hmmph! And I was in a good mood today, too.
-Molly