Mum and Dad went to a 'bedience lecture. I don't know what that nasty trainer said to them, but Mum came home talkin' crazy. She says I ain't her "little princess" no more. She says I am a dog! She says no more naps with Dad on the couch. She says no more barking at other dogs on the leash and pullin' and tuggin'. She called me a 'barassment. She said I 'm naughty and 'nipulative and no more doin' what I tell them.
Now I really hate that stinky ol' Plott Hound. They were goin' to the lecture to get that bad boy to b'have and now I'm bein' punished.
Anybody want a Plott Hound? I will pay shippin'.
-Princess Molly

"Is it safe to come out? I still smell Plott Hound."

-Vivi

Dear Nice Lady Across the Ocean,
No, Elvis did not eat the computer. He is not allowed in the computer room because that is where the ratties play and Mom thinks that he might eat them. Mom lets me use the computer because I am very trustworthy and beautiful and perfect and cute and wonderful and the best dog that ever was and don't you forget it.
Mom doesn't update her blog anymore because all she does is walk Elvis. She believes that a tired dog is a good dog and Elvis can walk and walk and never gets tired, but he seems pretty good to me. He even helps me do my chores - keeping the couch warm and reminding Mom and Dad when it's time to eat.
For those who are wondering, it's official. Elvis starts 'bedience class at the end of April, but Mom and Dad are going to a lecture by a dog trainer this Thursday. Mom says if they don't do something quick, her arm is going to fall out of it's socket and she will never be able to stand up straight again. I know Elvis would walk nicely on a leash if Mom and Dad asked him to the right way, but they don't ask nicely I know. They are the ones who need 'bedience class.
Elvis went to the vet's again today. He gained 9 lbs since last week and has to gain 10 more. It's not fair! When I came to live here I had to lose 10 lbs. I am on prison camp rations. I am being 'bused! And in comes this scrawny southern boy an' he gets all the good treats, like cheese, and I can't have any! I was here first.
Come to think of it, Elvis is not a good boy. I changed my mind. I could take him or leave him. And my Mom should quit school if she plans to keep him here, so she can give us both pats all day. And Mom took pictures, but I am not going to post any because they all have Elvis in them and I'm tired of hearing about Elvis and his good-boy treats!
Hmmph! And I was in a good mood today, too.
-Molly

"Aaaah, a quiet place to ponder life's big questions. Where did the new dog come from? Will he stay forever? What is 'bedience class? Why does he burp so much after he eats?"

"They call me Elvis, cause I 'ain't nothing but a hound dog.'"

*stretch*
*yawn*
*blink blink*
"Why is Mom waking us up so early?"
"I don't know. Let's chew a hole in her shirt."
"Yeah, that'll teach her."
"I heard Mom and Dad talking about a new dog."
"A new dog in our house?"
"Yeah. He's a hunting hound."
"Is that what stinks?"
"A hunting dog? Won't he try to hunt us?"
"She's been fattening us up to feed us to the hounds!"
"Don't be silly, Vivi."
"P.U. It really does stink in here."
"Mom said the hound has an ear infection."
"Can we catch it?!"
"No."
"How do you know?"
"I read it someplace!"
"Prove it!"
"I can't. I chewed the book up and then peed on it."
"You're making that up."
"No, really, it's true. And the hound has hookworm."
"Eeeew, can we catch that?"
"Yeah, but not if Mom cleans up his poop right away."
"hee hee hee"
"teee heee heee."
"ha ha ha."
"All Mom does is clean up poop."
"hee hee hee hee."
"Serves her right."
"Yeah, let's go back to sleep while Mom cleans up our poo."
*twitter*
*squeak*
*laugh*

"I love my new brother."

"I love my new sister."

"Don't worry, Nameless Plott Hound Boy Dog, my mum and dad are real nice. They are pushovers and will give you lots of treats and let you sleep on the couch."

"See? I tooooold you."

"Yep, this sure does beat the shelter. Now, if only that crazy lady would get that flashy thing out of my face, I could take a good nap."

Tagged

I have been tagged by Miss Sham.

Four Jobs I have had:

gardener
cabinetmaker's apprentice
carpenter's apprentice
pet-sitter

Four Movies I can Watch Over and Over

Wizard of Oz
Breakfast at Tiffany's
Pretty in Pink
North by Northwest

Four TV Shows I Love

Bones
Buffy - so sad she's only reruns now
Law and Order
CSI, any but Miami

Four Places I've been to on Holiday

Key West
Bahamas
Harper's Ferry, WV (By far my favorite)
P-Town, RI

Four Favorite Dishes

Lemon-pepper salmon, sauted brussel sprouts, mashed potatoes
spinach salad with fried capers, tomatos and a warm olive oil dressing
seared scallops, brown rice, roasted green beans
pizza with mozarella and feta, artichoke hearts, tomato and garlic.

Four Sites I Visit Daily

M'Rat
Vick
Petfinder.com
sites visited a couple of times a week: Sham, Mab, Lynn (It's a tie)

Four Places I'd rather be Right Now

Hiking Appalachian Trail (with small army of men and large dogs to protect me from stray murderers and rapists)
In New England with parents, bro, sis and my oh so marvelous nephew
Tahiti in my own grass hut on the water
Backpacking through Europe

Tagging -

Will Wheaton

It must be Spring...
I looked out my back window and saw two little girls zooming across my yard in a little pink corvette.
I looked out the front window and saw three young teenaged girls standing at the end of their driveway holding a large, handmade sign that said, "Honk, it's my birthday." Every time a car honked, they squealed in delight, jumped up and down and clapped their hands.

Of course, the weatherman did say that by Wednesday it'll be freezing again and snowing. I don't want to believe it.

Tonight when I took out the crinkley rat treat bag, the girls ran away from the noise instead of to it. Do you know what this means? It means that I am a terrible, neglectful mother, and do not give the girls enough treats.
Nor have I built them the ratty palace that I was planning to over this spring break. I was working on my own palace. How selfish.
Well, I do have a couple of jars of baby food for them - summer squash and turkey. Time to crack 'em open.